Once upon one time dere waz one young boy named Michael. Michael waz 32 years old and stay living in O'ahu, Hawai'i. One day wen we been leave school, one orange cat wen jump out from behind one house an wen trow Michael to da ground. But just when he almost wen scream for help, Michael had reka notice dat da orange cat stay only licking his face, not going bite em off. An den, Michael wen figurah fo keep da orange cat fo one pet. Nevah have one name so he had go name his pet orange cat ''Edward.'' Wen Michael an his da kine pet had go home already, who you tink was ovah dere on do lanai? Az right, was Michael's Muddah, Evelyn. An waaped her jaw fo see da orange cat in da back of Michael right inside da yard! ''Wat iz dat?'' shouted Evelyn. ''It's one orange cat,'' answered Michael. ''No dah, I can see dat, Michael, but wat it stay doing heah?'' said Evelyn. ''Dis iz my da kine new pet!'' answered Michael. ''Hoo, dats wat you tink?'' remarked Evelyn. No get your hopes up. You know Daddy no like orange cats. But, well, I guess, no mattah if you keep him until you Faddah come home.'' So den Michael wen grab Edward by the ear an wen take his new pet inside da house--even wen he had know dat his faddah no like. Inside da house, Michael and Edward had good fun, until Michael's favorite TV show, ''Dog the Bounty Hunter,'' had start. By dis time Michael had forget all about Edward stay running all ovah da house. Until half way true ''Dog the Bounty Hunter,'' wen Michael wen come back to reality he wen heah his faddah yelling, ''GO!! Michael! Get you rump in da kitchen...NOW!!'' An den Michael had rushed insi da kitchen fo see waz up. Wen he had go in da kitchen, dere waz his Faddah, Stephen, pointing toward da chair. Somebody going tell me waz going on?'' asked his Faddah. Den, wen Michael had follow his Faddah's fingah where stay pointing, he already know why his Faddah stay so upset. Dere, right in da middle of da chair, was da biggest pile of cat doo-doo he eveah seen! ''I no EVEN like know how dat had got dere,'' said Stephen. ''But you bettah go clean em right now! And you bettah get rid of whateveah wen did dis!'' Well, knowing how his Faddah going aack Michael already had know, no sense even ask his Faddah fo keep Edward fo one pet. So den, right away Michael wen fo go look where Edward stay hiding. Afteah looking around, Michael had find Edward undah da table dat Michael did his heraldry on. ''Come, Edward, time fo find you one new home. Eh, no look at me li-dat, you da one had make doo doo on da chair! scolded Michael. Tanks eh, cuz of you I neveah going get my own pet cat!! So den Michael wen take Edward out-si da house and down to da local Aldi. Dey had one pet section and Michael had know da ownah would try find Edward one good home. So aftah dey wen say good-bye to each uddah, an say tanks to da owner of Aldi, Michael wen walk back home an try fo dround his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen mangosteen juices. But Michael's time fo feel sorry fo hisself pau wen his Faddah had remind him about da doo doos he nevah did clean up. An den, right in da middle of da clean-up, Michael came tankful dat somebody else going do da clean up from now on. DA END.
