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Last Updated by theenglishman on 2/2/2009 1:57 AM
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The following is an attempt to give Hideo Kojima the editor he should have had.  I see some true potential in Kojima's work, but his game scripts are so artificially bloated by redundancy that I felt the need to step in.  Lines have been cut, sentences have been edited, and sometimes rearranged to create new thoughts altogether.

This is still a work in progress.  I hope you enjoy it.

METAL GEAR SOLID game script by Hideo Kojima and Tomokazu Fukushima, original translation by Jeremy Blaustein.
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FIRST BRIEFING

Campbell: It's been a long time Snake.%%%
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Snake: I should've known you were behind this, Colonel.%%%
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Campbell: That's no way to greet an old war buddy!  I just invited you here to have a little talk.%%%
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Snake: Sending armed soldiers after me isn't what I'd call an invitation.%%%
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Campbell: Sorry if they were a little rough, but we've got a serious situation here. You're the only one who can get us out of it.%%%
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Snake: I'm retired from FOX-HOUND, remember?  I don't take orders from you anymore, or anyone else.%%%
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Naomi: Excuse me.%%%
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Campbell: Snake, this is Dr. Naomi Hunter, gene therapist and chief of FOX-HOUND's medical staff.%%%
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Snake: Are you military?%%%
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Naomi: No, I've been sent here from ATGC.  Pleasure to meet you. (prepares to inject the serum) Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit.%%%
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Snake: What's it for?%%%
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Naomi: (smiling) You don't like shots?%%%
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Campbell:  Snake, listen up. Five hours ago, Next-Generation Special Forces led by members of the unit FOX-HOUND occupied Shadow Moses Island, a remote island off the coast of Alaska. They've presented Washington with a single demand, and they say that if it isn't met, they'll launch a nuclear weapon.  You see, the island is the site of a secret nuclear weapons disposal facility. %%%  
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Snake: FOX-HOUND hijacking a nuclear weapon?  What the hell?%%%
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Campbell: Now you understand how serious this is. You'll have two mission objectives. First -%%%
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Snake: Wait, I haven't even said whether I'd accept this mission.%%%
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Campbell: Well you can make up your mind after you hear more about the situation.  As I was saying, you're to rescue the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency Chief, Donald Anderson, and the president of ArmsTech, Kenneth Baker.%%%
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Snake: Those are some heavy duty hostages.%%%
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Campbell: Secondly, you're to investigate whether or not the terrorists have the ability to launch a nuclear strike, and stop them if they do. Any questions, Snake?

SHUT UP, I'M NOT DOING THE REST OF THE BRIEFING.  THAT SHIT'S ALL FILLER ANYWAY.