A speedrun for a little-known, bizarre NES game.

This is a tool-assisted speedrun for one of the strangest games to ever come out for the NES - and given that "Blaster Master" and "Zombie Nation" are also on this system, that's saying something. The plot has to do with an alien gargoyle (named "Bert") abducting a young baseball player (named "Mark") to save his planet from evil monsters. It just gets weirder from there.

Bert and Mark merge into one, but only Mark's abilities are available unless you get a pill(!) from an enemy, which lets you use Bert for a limited time. Bert can fly and shoot short-range lasers. Contrary to popular belief, however, Bert is not a better character. He jumps much slower than Mark and he can only have two lasers on screen at a time, unlike Mark who can attack constantly by holding his bat out. The transformation sequence (both to and back) is also painfully slow.

GENERAL NOTES

Mark is not really a swift character. Under normal circumstances, he moves at about a pixel a frame. Exceptions are when he gets hurt, which makes him reel back for about four frames in the opposite direction at double the normal speed; and when walking off a ledge, which gives him an edge boost of an extra pixel. They don't warrant excessive use, although getting hurt intentionally is often preferable to killing an enemy in a narrow passage.

Jumping doesn't move you any faster; in fact, you freeze for one full frame before the jump, and are not allowed any horizontal movement during landing from a jump. Mark always jumps at the same height as well; however, you can drop down from a jump by tapping down in mid-jump. This helps reach ledges quicker.

Mark's standard attack is his baseball bat, which stays out for ten frames. This can't be cancelled by attacking in a jump, unless the ten frames ends before the jump ends. If this happens and you hold a direction, Mark keeps the bat out and it continues to hit. This is his main way of dispatching bosses. You can also deflect certain projectiles back at the enemy; this is not used as frequently.

Bert is only used once to reach a door that Mark would have to backtrack a considerable distance to reach. Contrary to what has been written about the game, Bert is not stronger than Mark, but in higher stages of the game he shoots a double laser that hits twice; however, since he can only have two lasers on screen at once, his rate of attack is considerably lowered. His jump mechanics are also screwed up; among other things, he can only drop straight down from a jump (attempting to move him horizontally causes him to float).

The goal in every stage is to find the doors containing bosses; defeating all the bosses in a stage grants you the key to exit the stage (with one exception). Not all doors contain a boss, so I avoid going into empty rooms; however, there are two non-battles that are required, one of which uses up a large amount of time.

STAGE NOTES

Round 1 - Entrance to the Dark World

In the middle of this stage, lightning strikes and the environment becomes quite frightening. Given Nintendo's reputation as kid-friendly at the time, I'm surprised at all the gore in this game. Other than that, there's little noteworthy about this round.

Round 2 - Dark World Dungeon

This stage is the most boring one; there's not much room to maneuver and I'm forced to take hits against stronger enemies because it's quicker than just standing there and killing them. Plus, two of the boss doors require backtracking. There are also ladders which require climbing down, because the game won't let you jump down (you'll grab the ladder once the jump's vertical rise ends).

Round 3 - Dark World Cave

Umbrella bats. That is all.

Round 4 - Dark World Castle Ruins

Bert is used in this stage to reach the door to the Punk Rocker boss for reasons I speak of above. This stage is difficult to navigate; the moving blocks for the most part require you to wait to pass them without taking damage, as they can only be destroyed with a deflected projectile. There are also lots of narrow passages and resilient enemies, so I end this stage with only one hit point.

Round 5 - Dark World Lake

The fish in this level are crazy and pretend to be sharks. There are only two bosses in this level, and one of them's not even a fight. There's a jump in this level that is too far to cross without hitting the water; looks like another design oversight.

Round 6 - Dark World Haunted House

For some reason this house has no roof so you have to dodge meteors as well as living furniture and ghost pants. There's only one boss in this round.

Round 7 - Dark World Tower

Even though there are three bosses in this stage, you must only fight two (fighting the third causes you to lose your key and the only way to get it back is by dying and continuing). Because Royce the Giant Caterpillar is the slowest boss fight by far, he is skipped.

This stage scrolls vertically, so I use the jump drop a lot here to get on platforms. You can also use the jump drop to catch the edge of ladders. Normally, you have to wait until you begin to drop down from your jump to start climbing, and the ceilings are "sticky"; but dropping from your jump prevents this.

Round 8 - Dark World Heaven's Castle

The stars don't like you, and attack you with floating dynamite and flying witches, as well as the stars themselves. You have to backtrack to find the first boss in this stage; a lot of people got stuck in this part, as the game gives no indication that this is necessary.

Final Round - Dark World Master

The final boss is only vulnerable when its nose opens up, so I use luck manipulation (attacking on certain frames) to get it to do so often.

Enjoy the bizarre, hilarious ending.