Remember when I posted here about 2 stories from a writer named "appleshort"?
His stories were an example of what a writer shouldn't spew out.
I've always wanted to find a shining example of what a writer shouldn't be, and I believe I finally got one. Presenting FelixDawn. Lets see why he makes such a great bad writer.
It get's even better! Look what appears immediately after that line:
Oh, and don't forget this, this, this, thisandyougetthepoint.
This slaughter and total disregard of grammar is so blatant, that in the words of a reviewer*:
*I know it's from a different story by a different author, but I believe it applies here quite nicely in context to the writer's behaviour.
Joined: 10/27/2004
Posts: 1978
Location: Making an escape
And you should look at my response to your original post. If you're looking for examples of how not to write, looking through fan fictions sites is basically cheating.
Plus, the grammar in the snippet of the review you gave us is also terrible. Punctuation!
A hundred years from now, they will gaze upon my work and marvel at my skills but never know my name. And that will be good enough for me.
This is the first time I've seen people get upset over western animation/cartoons getting cut/editted for a.....Asian release. Usually, (infact, almost every other time) it's the other way around. 0_o
That guy is special as he not only acknowledges that he's making crap, but also denies help and openly attacks critics who try to correct him. Infact, I bet he's just one critique from challenge his critics into a boxing match. I'll wait for the day he announces that.
In general, I don't think anybody who publishes their work on the internet qualifies as a child in this light anymore.
Because of this, I doubt you'll have much luck finding art like this, though I would be curious as well.
Det man inte har i begåvning får man ta ut i energi.
"I think I need to get to Snoop Dogg's level of high to be able to research this post." -Samsara
Read my fanfic, One Piece: Pure Corruption
Btw, I think this sentence is a bit messed-up. It's probably not grammatically correct, or at the very least could benefit from rephrasing:
"The entire problem lies in that the more esoteric and requiring of convoluted explanations cutie marks become to explain the true nature/self/destiny/fuck you, that's why of the pony in question, the less sense the whole concept of cutie marks start making as a whole."
I don't think there's actually anything wrong with that sentence, but I've given it a small edit now anyway.
Det man inte har i begåvning får man ta ut i energi.
"I think I need to get to Snoop Dogg's level of high to be able to research this post." -Samsara
Read my fanfic, One Piece: Pure Corruption
I have hard time understanding how the "that's why of the pony in question" fits in the sentence (and how it's grammatically correct in the first place.)
Also, even disregarding the unnecessary strength of the "FU", I don't understand how it fits in the list of "nature, self, destiny". Those are nouns, while "FU" is a verb.
Also, it probably should be "the whole concept of ... starts making" (because "concept" is singular.)
Oh. Yeah. I see the entire problem. And that problem is how I always tend to add a stupid thing at the end when I note down things with the same/similar meaning like that. Usually just some variation of "whatever". For some reason I decided on a "fuck you, that's why" when writing that, and the comma placement screws up the parsing of the rest of the sentence if you don't know those four words are supposed to be seen a separate unit.
I have no idea if I intended to keep that like that in the final version of the text, as I said this was that part in the state that it was.
Small edit possibly incoming later, but for now just ignore those four words and the sentence should make sense again.
Also here's something someone said on IRC (names withheld to protect the innocent): "Did Warp just say "Fuck you" is a verb?"
Det man inte har i begåvning får man ta ut i energi.
"I think I need to get to Snoop Dogg's level of high to be able to research this post." -Samsara
Read my fanfic, One Piece: Pure Corruption
Care to point out examples of bias?
(I don't think that telling that there's a large peripheral demographic fandom is bias. It's just describing a well-referenced fact.)