wow,i'm quite amazed to read all these things about the members of the community,i'd never have guessed that so many of you are in such pain.I don't mean it disrespectfully but all of you accomplish(or contribute,if you don't find accomplish to be the right word) so much to the site,i kinda imagined you all not only to be happy but sucessful with your own personal matters and lives.We all have our demons to fight.
I also believe it's a good idea to open our hearts here,GodessMaria.Respect for the dead is cool and all the jazz,but the living do have a priority.This thread might just be another great contribution from RachelB herself.I don't mean to disregard death as a meaningful event,but we ought to make the best out of such a sad event.I hope you don't take it personally.
Also,this makes me think how to gather all the lonely people together so they can find friends who understand what they're going through.Does anybody know of support groups or programs like that?
I want all good TAS inside TASvideos, it's my motto.
TAS i'm interested:
Megaman series, specially the RPGs! Where is the mmbn1 all chips TAS we deserve? Where is the Command Mission TAS?
i'm slowly moving away from TASing fighting games for speed, maybe it's time to start finding some entertainment value in TASing.
mugg, the key is to fix yourself a schedule and force yourself to stick to it
i did go thru a phase like the one you are going thru, didn't know what to do, didn't have the will to find a goal. the first step i found was that a schedule help focusing on a solution and not on the symptoms, add some stupid and borring activities
(i was going every sunday for a 3 hour walk, never taking the same route, taking pictures of everything i found strange )
same for the trash, set a trash day and put it out.
once you set your schedule, gradually add things to do ( going to the pool, going to see a movie, add things you don't like do... ) also, it seems like nothing but learn to look and smile to peoples, and goof around, it WILL open conversations, i can't describe how just a hello and a smile from a random stranger can give you a LARGE moral boost...
Joined: 4/21/2004
Posts: 3517
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Ehm with all due respect to everyone, I find no harm friendly suggestion professional sites if anyone is feeling being in a very dark place. People who suggest those sites are doing it because they obviously care. We do not not what you are going through, we want the best thing for you. I have certainly been depressed once or twice in my life. I fought and here I am. Not rubbing it in. mugg, I know you from irc, you are my man, always there for you.
I think situations like these makes us realize not to take anything for granted and most probably strenghtens us as a big community and a big family. Families go through hard times and good times. As long as we have each other's back, that's what really matters, through good and bad times.
Nitrogenesis wrote:
Guys I come from the DidyKnogRacist communite, and you are all wrong, tihs is the run of the mileniun and everyone who says otherwise dosnt know any bater! I found this run vary ease to masturbate too!!!! Don't fuck with me, I know this game so that mean I'm always right!StupedfackincommunityTASVideoz!!!!!!
Arc wrote:
I enjoyed this movie in which hands firmly gripping a shaft lead to balls deep in multiple holes.
natt wrote:
I don't want to get involved in this discussion, but as a point of fact C# is literally the first goddamn thing on that fucking page you linked did you even fucking read it
Cooljay wrote:
Mayor Haggar and Cody are such nice people for the community. Metro City's hospitals reached an all time new record of incoming patients due to their great efforts :P
Hey now, no need to be personal. (Or was your intent to have me kill myself?)
Samsara wrote:
Warp wrote:
People try to find out the history of the victim because they want to learn to recognize the symptoms. If we don't look at the victim's past, we will never learn.
While I understand your point, I don't think looking into their history is the way to go about learning about it.
I hope you aren't a therapist, social worker or a person who regularly works with people. For their sakes.
grassini wrote:
wow,i'm quite amazed to read all these things about the members of the community,i'd never have guessed that so many of you are in such pain.
I wouldn't call it pain, just people putting themselves first before the topic again. The TAS community is filled with people lacking social life, whether desired, unhealthy or somewhere inbetween. Now that there's a thread to talk about it it's all mild narcissistic hugbox time...
I don't want to sound insensitive, or offer diagnosis without firsthand knowledge, or claim to know more than professionals you've seen, but what you're describing sounds like a dietary issue. Are you eating healthy? Have you tried shifting your diet to foods with a lower glycemic load? Are you getting enough sleep at night and enough sunlight during the day? Precise issues are hard to track down when you're dealing with a more general destabilization of what the body needs. If you are managing yourself correctly, then I'm sorry for offering this suggestion.
Seconding that this stuff is really, really important. Pretty much through my entire school/highschool life, I mismanaged my sleep quality and would often fall asleep during class and have no energy. I never questioned it - I just figured it was how things went. I only made a serious effort to understand what things make me tired and what things give me energy starting last year, and now I feel WAY more in control over my life now that I can make and verify predictions.
If you don't have energy, you can't do anything. It's a great place to start.
It's been a while since I last posted here, and I just noticed this topic.
It's really, really sad to know this... I never had the chance to talk with Rachel so much (the only contact I had with her was sometime ago through a PM, asking stuff about Wii TASing, and she replied to it) ...but still, she seemed to be a really dedicated person.
I feel very sorry for her especially because she was so young... but hopefully she is feeling happy on a better place now.
Joined: 11/13/2006
Posts: 2822
Location: Northern California
True wrote:
(Or was your intent to have me kill myself?)
Can we console verify it?
TASvideos Admin and acting Senior Judge 💙 Currently unable to dedicate a lot of time to the site, taking care of family.
Now infrequently posting on BlueskywarmCabin wrote:
You shouldn't need a degree in computer science to get into this hobby.
I would like to click on the Facebook "hide" button for the last few posts between Samsara and True. The discussion was healthy as a tribute to RachelB and how to avoid our relatives to end up the same, please not break this with some Dragon Ball Z level talks. (Or discuss it by PM, IRC, Skype, hanging out IRL or whatever.)
Please stop saying things like this. I know they're not your words, but I'm saying in general that this isn't right.
I'm saying this from the suicidal person's point of view, because I've been in that situation more than once: Even if you talk to someone, that's not a guarantee at all that they'll listen to you. It's not a guarantee that they'll understand you or even attempt to help you. In my experience, I've had people shy away from me, or people try to tell me to "be happy" without even bothering to help otherwise. I've had people refuse to speak to me because they didn't want me to "bring them down". I've even had people tell me to just go ahead and do it.
Three things about this I need to address.
1. My friend zidanax committed suicide 3 years ago. NOBODY had a clue. There was no indication to any of us. I knew him from two different forums and there was no idea. No warnings.
2. You're somewhat right, but also somewhat wrong. It's important to talk to people, but it does have to be the right person. If a person is a true friend and understanding, the least they can do is listen. They may not have the answers, but at least getting it out may help some.
3. The worst thing you can do is keep it in. When I was around the age of Rachael and zidanax, I felt some of those same feelings. It's horrible, especially if you're all alone. I'm fortunate that I made it through, but I'm sure my problems paled in comparison to those two. While I probably shouldn't compare (and I'm trying not to), I do understand those feelings to some extent.
There is not one solution for everybody, but keeping everything in and trying to pretend the problem doesn't exist won't help anybody. Especially not yourself.
I have been in a similarly bad situation for a while now. I have no real friends, I still live with my parents who don't understand me, I'm on my computer 24/7 and not really being productive. Trash is stacking up to my left and right. I skip work so much because I don't feel alright. I don't have any goals in life. Therapists don't help.
I think I don't have people to hang out with. I don't have the desire to go out and seek people, or the desire to change something. I don't know how to do it.
I've been living on like this trying to ignore it. Now this RachelB incident reminds me of myself. I may or may not end up like this. I don't know.
I can totally relate to that kind of life. But many people have had a life like that, but later their life has changed for the better, so it could change for you too.
If anyone says "go outside, go for a walk". I can't bring up the motivation to do it. It's not fun to walk around.
Maybe you could start with something easier. Some people suggested changing for a healthier diet. But if even that sounds too hard, so that you don't even have motivation to do that, then you could find something even easier. Small changes can start a chain reaction, which can lead to big changes. Maybe moving to your own apartment could lead to positive changes. What is draining your energy? Is it something in your (24/7) computer?
You can change by using your willpower. The willpower is like a muscle; if you don't use it much, it might be kinda weak. When life gets better, making changes becomes easier. But you have to start with something very small. A small improvement. It's like when lifting weights, you can't go for the heavier weights directly.
Joined: 2/28/2012
Posts: 160
Location: Philadelphia
sorry if this isn't the right time to say it but goddammit we have to take some sort of responsibility for each other's well-being if we're going to be any sort of community.
this isn't the first time I've felt helpless and like an idiot and a shitty person for not doing more to help a friend before they committed suicide, and I imagine the feeling might be common right now. it's a terrible mix of anger and guilt and helplessness. it felt as if my world had fallen apart when one of my best friends killed himself last year but the only way I could have gotten through it was with the help of friends, other people to mourn his passing and celebrate his life with. this is who we need right now, and this is whom we need to be for each other.
I realize most of you probably did not sign up for tasvideos.org thinking it'd be a pillar of emotional support for a time of crisis, but what's the point of having a community if we let ourselves fall apart with silent abandon?
I'll be on irc probably most of the day if someone's itching for someone to talk to.
sorry if this isn't the right time to say it but goddammit we have to take some sort of responsibility for each other's well-being if we're going to be any sort of community.
this isn't the first time I've felt helpless and like an idiot and a shitty person for not doing more to help a friend before they committed suicide, and I imagine the feeling might be common right now. it's a terrible mix of anger and guilt and helplessness. it felt as if my world had fallen apart when one of my best friends killed himself last year but the only way I could have gotten through it was with the help of friends, other people to mourn his passing and celebrate his life with. this is who we need right now, and this is whom we need to be for each other.
I realize most of you probably did not sign up for tasvideos.org thinking it'd be a pillar of emotional support for a time of crisis, but what's the point of having a community if we let ourselves fall apart with silent abandon?
I'll be on irc probably most of the day if someone's itching for someone to talk to.
I don't see what could have been done in this instance, and it's pointless to play the "I wish I" or "I could have done more" card. I already experienced a similar situation when my uncle committed suicide several years. In my instance the warning signs were there and I did all that could have been reasonably expected of me. It's not my duty to intrude on other people's lives online. Just so I can detect that 1/1000 instance. Rachel Bryk was responsible for the decision she took, and it's her fault for not trying to seek help. Whether it be counselling face to face or online.
Moderator, Senior Ambassador, Experienced player
(907)
Joined: 9/14/2008
Posts: 1014
Having lost a number of people in my life and knowing what it's like, I am praying for the family and the close friends she left behind. Some things those individuals will read online will help them and some things will sadden them but my hope is that everyone who is in mourning can work through their feelings and move toward healing. For those here who have felt a personal loss, I want to share something my wife and I have posted on our bedroom wall as we continue to work through personal losses of our own:
Grief is a journey, not a place to stay. It is not a sign of weakness - it is the price of love.
From reading the article I suspect if she was on anti-depressants, then it may have been an overriding factor. Getting bullied online because of her sexuality is a red herring IMO. All too often drug issues are overlooked, due to media outlets not wanting to hurt their advertising revenue, and the reputational damage to the pharmaceuticals companies.
Anti-depressants have different effects for different people. They helped me but in an unexpected way because of an underlying physiological problem that responds to them, but I have a friend who doesn't respond to them at all.
The bullying may or may not be as much of a red herring as you'd think in this day and age. Doxxing is a real threat that leads to real-world consequences, and it's not too hard for someone intent on finding the information to get and use it even in the absence of a dox. If the bullying spilled out of cyberspace and into her daily reality...
I had a similar event happening here to the one that initially made me speak out in this thread. I'm practically in the same situation as I was before.
My life is going to keep being shit as I get older and older. I will be alone forever and die in my regrets. I hate this.
I took a break from TASVideos for a couple months because I've moved halfway across the country, so I'm late to receive this news. Ugh, how heartbreaking. Rachel was an expert TASer and programmer and a pillar to our community. Her openness about her transgenderism was refreshing and has helped me consider my own gender identity. I know the suicide rate among transgendered people is shockingly high, but I never would have guessed she felt so hopelessly depressed.
Rest in peace, Rachel. I'm so sorry that life never treated you the way you deserved.
Edit: And hang in there, MUGG! I haven't read the rest of the thread and I didn't mean to overlook your comment. I don't know what you're going through, but just know that I'm here for you along with the rest of TASVideos.
I had a similar event happening here to the one that initially made me speak out in this thread. I'm practically in the same situation as I was before.
My life is going to keep being shit as I get older and older. I will be alone forever and die in my regrets. I hate this.
This would go better in that other thread, but I don't a solution to your problem (if I had, I would use it myself), except for a small suggestion: When people invite you to events and such, say yes. You might get bored out of your skull, and you might even leave more depressed than you were before, but nevertheless, just go. Don't let the opportunities that present themselves pass by. You don't need to try too hard there, or be overly sulky, but if you keep going to such things, you might get something out of it. If nothing else, a modicum of social interaction with other human beings. Better than absolutely nothing. Beggars can't be choosers. Take what little you can. Who knows, maybe with time you'll learn to enjoy yourself in those events, even if you don't get anything lasting from them. You don't have to abandon everything.
Joined: 8/14/2009
Posts: 4089
Location: The Netherlands
Yeah, I'd just like to make it clear that anyone who wants to share their personal problems should do so in this thread: Thread #16672: Opening Up ~ The Life Behind the Screen
Please keep any further posts in this thread on-topic, which is about RachelB, not about your own problems.
http://www.youtube.com/Noxxa
<dwangoAC> This is a TAS (...). Not suitable for all audiences. May cause undesirable side-effects. May contain emulator abuse. Emulator may be abusive. This product contains glitches known to the state of California to cause egg defects.
<Masterjun> I'm just a guy arranging bits in a sequence which could potentially amuse other people looking at these bits
<adelikat> In Oregon Trail, I sacrificed my own family to save time. In Star trek, I killed helpless comrades in escape pods to save time. Here, I kill my allies to save time. I think I need help.
