Author's note: This submission text is at least PG 13.

Ok this run is 5477 frames faster than the last publication. Hello.

Anyway, this is my second run of this game, and the first one can be found -> Linkhere. I decided to redo the run before submitting to make it more optimized. Well here it is! In the end, I redid each level at least 3 times. But most probably 5+

This run is basically a bunch of swinging, like trading wives, but not nearly as good, or bad, depending on the outcome. Mostly, swinging is the fastest. Of course to make things more complicated, it's not always fastest. To be able to swing, you need to gain air, and air is either gained by jumping or walking/sliding off a platform. Jumping is slower than sliding, so the basic set-up for swinging might make it slower. So second to swinging, sliding is the shit. At least when it covers about < 50% of the maximum sliding distance. If it doesn't, then it's bad since the "rise"-delay between finishing a slide and being able to make the next move is quite long. The < 50% does not apply when sliding off platforms. So when you are about to move a distance shorter than about 50% of a slide and swinging is out of the question, then walking is a good advice. And walking is just what it sounds like, it's what you do every day, unless you are crippled and in a wheelchair, or if you have an iron lung, in which case you most likely are fucked anyway and not being able to walk is the least of your problems. There also might be times when you need to get under something, and the distance is way shorter than 50% of a slide, like 1%, then you have to crawl. Which is slow. What's wrong with the Solid Snake-style of running while crouching? Stupid worthless Ninja. Other tricks used are grabbing a platform which you slide off instantly to reach the ground faster. Not always faster. Mostly. I'd say high 80%. It might sound confusing, but I won't explain shortly.

The Ninja also knows how to attack. There are 3 (Three (III) ) kinds of attacks. It's the shuriken, which comes in different forms and sizes, the sword, which comes in 2,5 kinds and sizes, and the magical mega frame-ruled time consuming super attack which attacks all enemies on screen.

The shurikens comes in 3 different kinds. It's the shuriken, which is a shuriken, which can be fired in massive amounts, and rarely causes any lag. It is weak and horrible and mostly useless, but if it stuns an enemy, Ninja can swing through them without taking damage! That, my friends, is haxx. Sometimes I fire 3 shurikens in a row but only the first and third hit, but I have to do that, because there's a too long recovery time if I should shoot one, wait, then shoot the third. This is called a 1-2-1 and might be reffered to later in the submission text. Picking up a red lightning makes Ninja's blood boil (Like The Jackal) and levels him up to level 2! Insert dramatic music here.

Level 2 shurikens makes Ninja put on a semi-gay purple dress and then gives him 3 fire balls to act like a weapon instead. These balls are the horror and creates a bunch of lag, but they are also outrageously powerful and burns people alive so they die. This weapon only allows one active shot, unless one grapples, in which case another shot is possible, but not recommended due to fag. However picking up another lightning speeds things up.

Shuriken level 3 is a plasma beam, which made this unrealistic game even more unrealistic. Level 3, black suit, makes Ninja fire a projectile which kills stuff. By using regrapple, lots of shots can be on screen at the same time. OMGLAZERPEWPEW. Ya'll. Anyway this is what you want to get to. It kills the human soldiers and ninjas with one shot, and the cyborgs take lots of damage from this. Also insert action music.

Taking damage lowers you one level on the shuriken-levels until level 1 is reached but this is a no damage run so I dunno why I bothered to write that down.

Ninja also has a sword which can be used in 3 ways. Lol. I said threeway. I could swing my sword in a threeway catch my drift???! Anywho, it can be used while standing, crouching and jumping. The two first sucks and can be ignored. That being said I do use one of them. Oh well! Hypocrite at its best. Jump slash however is awesomeness on a stick with fried ants. Jump slash removes all the other slash-delay found, and it also allows for a higher, and longer jump, which sometimes is useful. The sword is powerful, but wai to slow to be loved by anyone. Except maybe Dracula. Wait. Maybe this can make the first boss battle faster? I should check. Okay I checked, it wasn't faster. Good. Actually I tested that during the battle a while back.

So yeah the sword is good while jumping and attacking stuff. So they die. Also when using the sword during a jump, Ninja will crouch for 20+ frames before being able to move after landing, unless you use the grapple in thin air before landing. The sword-animation can also be removed by grabbing on to a ledge while jump-slashing.

Saving Hostages and stuff

Level 1 - 1: What's New? Well a bunch of more sliding makes the movement to the door 37 frames faster, and the room is 16 frames faster. The reminder of the level ended up 7 frames faster. This makes it 67 frames faster. But wait Cardboard. 37 + 16 + 7 only equals 60. Yes it does. The other 7 came from the title screen.

Level 1 - 2: The mega ice breaking move in this level is that I kill the topmost evil hostage taker like KaitouKid back in the 80's, i.e. by staying/hanging to the right of him, since it was, well, faster. Other than that, 33 frames were gained in the first part of the level, entering the room, and then leaving. The rest of the level is 204 frames faster, and yes, I did have to shoot the Red Ninja, that triggered his movement faster.

Level 1 - 3: Even more scarier than Level 1 - 2, level 1 - 3 contains a bunchload of early swinging. I get to the key 41 frames faster, but that's mostly because I hit him earlier, making him turn around like a man, and getting the next round of attacks to his balls. That's manly! Anywait, after that, I manage to grip a top platform which gives me a great speed boost on the way to the door, and 30 more frames gained! Wohoha. Well I gain 2 frames in the next room, but that is because the super attack seem to behave differently depending on a frame rule, which is a book of fucktarded ass if I ever read one. Due to this, I lost 8 frames to my old test run. The rest of the level is mostly just optimized

Boss 1: Look, it's one of those "Man did we ever run out of ideas or what?"-bosses from Mega Man 6 :o Anyway by staying "inside" of him using the "You can't hurt me na na na na"-Ninja Power, I can unleash a whole load of attacks as good as constantly, killing him faster than sex. 201 frames gained here, making Bank Level a total of 875 frames faster.

Level 2 - 1: Taking hostages in a harbor seems like a strategic failure, then again, I'm NINJA and not the terrorist. Hohohoho hooters, some jumping and spinning and nothing new really saved a bunch of frames, 276 or so.

Level 2 - 2: This level was kinda new. At first, I do it according to the book, and the first vertical room, something big happens. Holy shit I actually hit that cyborg ninja on my first strike, wow. That saved a bunchfuck of time. After that room, I stop to kill another cyborg to get another Lightning to kill stuff with faster. It starts to pay off almost instantly. I also stop to kill the last flame guy to gain some "Can't touch this"-powers. This cost me about 28 or so frames, but I shall regain my PRIDE! Level II-2 closes the gates 172 frames faster.

Level 2 - 3: So I gain a bunchbreak of frames because I can go through fire thanks to the MDK of the last flamer in level 2 - 2. Overall me gained 35 or something doing this, and also got a mucho better flow. This room had some sweet moments. When I managed to jump from the leftern slot to the rightern without getting hit by the flames, I almost pissed myself from joy. I was also watching the movie with Joker from The Dark Knight and Matt Damon where they hunt witches while I TASed this level. This level was sort of 417 frames faster. Ya. Tits.

Boss 2: Froggie is cute <3 BOSS does not last for long. The extra lightning is helpful deluxe here. Also moving off screen is tough cookies ): 260 faster.

Level 3 - 1: AIRPLANE, TAKE ME AWAY TO ANOTHER PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. Oh man oh man grabbing the ceiling while going for the red key was good cookie. Other than that, I did stuff. Stuff gave me frames. 322.

Level 3 - 2: I find this level silly, but the guy behind the first plant is really cute. It may look like I "miss" a door while swinging around to reach to it, but it was the bestest that could be donestest. 498 60th of a second gained.

Level 3 - 3: Rule 1: No gun on a plane. Rule 2: No lasers on a plane. Rule 3: No snakes on a plane. Hey, 1 out of 3 isn't that bad! Anywait I do stuff, like ignore hostages and whatnot. I'll save the bastard when I have the time! 445 gained.

Boss 3: OMGZOR IT'S THE FIRE DRAGON! He's pretty weak and very laggy. 64 frames gained. But what is Ninja doing while boss is dying? Ew. I guess this explains changing back to the blue clothes during level 4 - 1.

For those not keeping track, I'm currently 3265 frames ahead now.

Level 4 - 1: Woah so they're trapping hostages in cages now? Cute, but not my thing. 193 frames gained here, nothing ground breaking or anything.

Level 4 - 2: More of the same old here. 315 frames won by me.

Level 4 - 3: 358 frames faster, most of it in the sweet room behind the yellow doors.

Boss 4: Holy crap it's Vamp? Yeah, I'll teach him! Anyways he is very simple boss, so I gained 53 frames here.

Level 5 - 1: Ok here I panicked. This level is pain. It's meant to fuck with a TASer. The second frame accepting input was a lag frame. Fuck you. 103 frames gained. 103 sanity lost.

Level 5 - 2: Time flew by in this level, gained 74 frames in this funny fawlty towers-palace.

Boss 5: Shit yes. I manipulated away most of his mega power slow attacks and gained 890 frames here. Yep. 890.

Level After Boss 5: Jumpy slashy jumpyyyyy. Gained 162 frames here, or at least so they say!

Ok I gained 5477 in total, like previously stated.

See you next mission! Also bye bye. And thanks to a bunch of people.

adelikat: Accepting as an improvement to the published movie.

ShinyDoofy: Will process...