Post subject: OoT runner Cosmo Wright has come out as transgender
Joined: 3/17/2009
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Previous WR holder for this game in the any% category Cosmo Wright has announced he is Transgender and will now be known as Narcissa Wright. Source: https://twitter.com/narcissawright It has been a long time since he was actively running OoT, but I will always remember his amazing run when he set the world record the last time. I know he reads these forums so I would just like to take this opportunity to wish him good luck with his personal stuff and I hope to see him back in OoT at some point either as Cosmo or Narcissa Mod edit: Split into a different thread, because this piece of news has absolutely nothing to do with OoT TASing. Feel free to change the title as you see fit. — moozooh
Samsara
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I'm always really glad to see things like this! It warms my heart to not only see people having the courage and self-confidence to go ahead with a transition, but to see other people accepting who they are without questioning them. It's also particularly great to have a well-known and liked "role model" of sorts within the community to encourage other people to step up and reveal who they truly are without fear of backlash. I'm still a bit afraid of the overall response to her transition, as I know speedrun fans back in the day weren't exactly too fond of Withhelde, but I'm going to remain casually optimistic if only to prevent anxiety attacks. Thanks for reporting. Though it's probably not a good idea to keep referring to Narcissa as male or hope she comes back to OoT "as Cosmo"... but I understand that these most likely weren't intentional. I hope Narcissa's transition inspires other people to "come out" as it were... Keeping your real identity locked away is absolutely draining and mentally damaging. I should know, I'd been doing it for years before becoming more open and public about it. More importantly, though, I hope that someday this won't be ground-shattering news: That someday, an equally "famous" person is going to come out in the same way and everyone will just immediately accept it without thinking it's abnormal or newsworthy. I guess it's obvious that this is pretty personal/important to me, and I'm sorry if it feels like I'm bringing attention onto myself with this post, but... Still. It might not mean much to say this, but if you're reading this: Thank you, Narcissa. And thank you to everyone who's been supportive of her so far. I'm still not fully able to accept myself, but stories like this and especially the positive reactions to them are extremely helpful to me. ...Yeah, this ended up a little too self-centered. I'm sorry about that, again. Best of luck to you, Narcissa.
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Post subject: Re: OoT runner Cosmo Wright goes transgender (split from OoT)
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Synx wrote:
Previous WR holder for this game in the any% category Cosmo Wright has announced he is Transgender and will now be known as Narcissa Wright. Source: https://twitter.com/narcissawright It has been a long time since he was actively running OoT, but I will always remember his amazing run when he set the world record the last time. I know he reads these forums so I would just like to take this opportunity to wish him good luck with his personal stuff and I hope to see him back in OoT at some point either as Cosmo or Narcissa
First things first, please use the right pronouns! Though I can't see whether Narcissa has specified them anywhere, it's normally a safe bet that the right ones won't be "he" :) Anyway... SDFDSF SO HAPPY UNBRIDLED JOY! I'm a transwoman myself and seeing other trans* people start to really find themselves and confidence in themselves just fills me with huge amounts of vicarious happiness I might explode! :) :) :) Side note: could a mod please change the title? "goes transgender" is... ugh, not an accurate or nice way to say it at all. "Comes out as" or "announces that she is" are much more preferable alternatives :)
Post subject: Re: OoT runner Cosmo Wright goes transgender (split from OoT)
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AdituV wrote:
"goes transgender" is... ugh, not an accurate or nice way to say it at all.
Agreed. I'd settled on the previous name because the board enforced a very strict topic name character limit that I'd run into when trying to rephrase it better. This topic made me wonder how many girls here are actually former guys... or how many guys here are about to become girls. That's sneaky!
Warp wrote:
Edit: I think I understand now: It's my avatar, isn't it? It makes me look angry.
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hahaha,i wondered that too moozooh but it's a tough world out there,cosmo always got picked on for the painted nails on the stream but people would eventually shun the retards who complained about,hopefully everything will work out for the best.I never guessed the nails were a foreshadowing of her identity.
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Samsara wrote:
to see other people accepting who they are without questioning them
/srg/ and Reddit are where the hate concentrates nowadays.
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arflech wrote:
Samsara wrote:
to see other people accepting who they are without questioning them
/srg/ and Reddit are where the hate concentrates nowadays.
Funny you should mention Reddit, since despite all its problems, I've been consistently impressed by how accepting they are to trans-people. I'm not sure I've ever seen a disparaging comment there upvoted and, more than anything else, I perceive people there are just curious about what life is like for transgendered people. Any counterexamples that I've overlooked?
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Coming out as trans is still very difficult and I wish Narcissa the best. I talked to her a few times on Twitch because we happen to run the same obscure game, and she came off to me as a really nice, down to earth person, despite being the most famous speedrunner ever. In case you're reading this, Narcissa: Ignore the hate and continue on your way! And give Beetle a try again ^^
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This may sound a bit insensitive, but I really can't understand the relevance of this topic at a website like this one. It's like I were to go to a forum about... I don't know... chess, and declare there "hey, did you know that I'm a man?" Seems a bit superfluous. The expected answer would be that of puzzlement, and "yeah, so?" If someone comes to a forum about making runs of computer games and says "did you know that such and such person is trans?", I'm like, well, "yeah, so?" I don't really care what somebody is, especially not in a forum that's rather unrelated to such issues. Isn't this like a personal thing? You are what you are; I am what I am. So? In fact, I find it even more bothering when it's "did you know person X is Y", rather than "I am Y". It's a bit like gossiping. I do understand that some people struggle with their identities and it's important to them, but there's the right place for everything.
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Warp wrote:
I really can't understand the relevance of this topic at a website like this one.
Good thing we have an Off topic part of this website, where we can discuss stuff that isn't relevant to this website! Good thing that
Warp wrote:
there's the right place for everything.
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Samsara
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It's the Off-Topic part of the forum, and it involves a member of the community at large. I agree that it shouldn't be newsworthy (it should just be automatically accepted), but there's definitely a place to discuss it. Obviously we can only discuss Narcissa for so long before the main topic dies (well-deserved praise can only go so far), but there's absolutely a discussion to be had regarding transgender culture in general. Perhaps some "closeted" members could be inspired to come out after seeing positive discussion such as this. Maybe some of the outspoken members can discuss their own experiences and help others to understand them better. There's a lot of good that can come from this, I feel.
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Warp wrote:
This may sound a bit insensitive, but I really can't understand the relevance of this topic at a website like this one. It's like I were to go to a forum about... I don't know... chess, and declare there "hey, did you know that I'm a man?" Seems a bit superfluous. The expected answer would be that of puzzlement, and "yeah, so?" If someone comes to a forum about making runs of computer games and says "did you know that such and such person is trans?", I'm like, well, "yeah, so?" I don't really care what somebody is, especially not in a forum that's rather unrelated to such issues. Isn't this like a personal thing? You are what you are; I am what I am. So? In fact, I find it even more bothering when it's "did you know person X is Y", rather than "I am Y". It's a bit like gossiping. I do understand that some people struggle with their identities and it's important to them, but there's the right place for everything.
Out of respect to Narcissa (and transgender people in the community in general), I don't want to see this whole thread derailed by a discussion on on-topicness and such, so I hope we can be done with this quickly. Here are some points:
  • This is the off-topic section of the forum. It does not need to be very relevant. We have plenty of topics here that have less relevance to TASing or its community.
  • This is a topic about a very significant change for a very notable player from the speedrun community, which is obviously closely related to the TASing community. It is not some random forum poster talking about themself, nor is it a writeup about some random insignificant person. Obviously we can't have a topic about every single user's identity, but this is a good one to lead the topic with.
  • It's not gossiping when the person in question announced the change herself to begin with.
  • Where else other than in a thread in off-topic would you have people discuss about their identity struggles? This topic (or one like it) would seem ideal for that purpose.
So yeah, please keep this topic on-topic to itself. I'm sure there are many people who have interesting experiences and valuable advice to share to each other in regards to gender identity. Let's keep the topic focused on that.
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The point I was trying to make was not whether it's on- or off-topic, but about the website as a whole. Of course we have lots of discussions about things that are completely unrelated to TASing, such as mathematics, physics, YouTube videos, TV shows, and so on. The difference is, none of those are deeply personal topics. I wouldn't have written my post if had been made by the person in question. It just resonated badly when we are talking about some person somewhere, who I think is not even present and participating.
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Warp wrote:
It just resonated badly when we are talking about some person somewhere, who I think is not even present and participating.
This happens literally everywhere. Why is it any different here?
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Warp wrote:
This may sound a bit insensitive, but I really can't understand the relevance of this topic at a website like this one. It's like I were to go to a forum about... I don't know... chess, and declare there "hey, did you know that I'm a man?" Seems a bit superfluous. The expected answer would be that of puzzlement, and "yeah, so?" If someone comes to a forum about making runs of computer games and says "did you know that such and such person is trans?", I'm like, well, "yeah, so?" I don't really care what somebody is, especially not in a forum that's rather unrelated to such issues. Isn't this like a personal thing? You are what you are; I am what I am. So? In fact, I find it even more bothering when it's "did you know person X is Y", rather than "I am Y". It's a bit like gossiping. I do understand that some people struggle with their identities and it's important to them, but there's the right place for everything.
I don't understand if you mean that this kind of 'news' should be as casual, and consequently not worth sharing, as something like 'OoT speedrunner hair color is blond' (in which case I would agree with you, but that's not happening because society will never accept transsexualism that way); or if you mean that this new is so unimportant that it doesn't have place even in the off-topic forum of this site. If that's the case, your post is something to worry about. In a world where many transsexual and transgender people are murdered or attacked due to intolerance, have a extremely high rate of suicide, and often never get to reveal to others their gender identity, it is absolutely not significant that a person related to this community has come out as transgender?
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Yeah, I think it's important to remember that any community is comprised of people, and all people have various personal feelings and thoughts that they struggle with and are afraid to let out. Can you imagine just how strong must a feeling, or a conviction, or a belief be for somebody to do something as drastic as irreversibly changing their bodies? And when something becomes this strong, it becomes a dangerous thing when subjected to the wrong feedback. You know how people become suicidal, right? Most of the time it's when a person doesn't receive positive feedback on something that is both personal and very important, to the point where they lose all hope of ever being understood or at least accepted to the extent they need. Being transgender is among the things where it's incredibly easy to fall into the situation where the feedback you receive is "the world wants old 'me', even though the current 'me' is the real one", and you know you can't casually go back on anything. The problem is that this feedback is often relayed via very subtle things, such as addressing a male-to-female trans as a "he". It's probably something most of us have done at least once, and it could be without any malicious intent (I assume this is also the case with the OP). To a person who is very sensitive to this it conveys the message of "I don't accept your change; I wish you'd never done this". Here's where communities can help—they can, all at the same time: — encourage the person in question to go through with their convictions, making it known that there's a group of people who will help them and stand for them; — potentially help other persons who have their own struggles to come out with them (even if it's something "trivial" like confessing your feelings to someone you like, or making up with a relative after a fight, or releasing a poem you have been working on for months, etc.); — educate those who aren't very sensitive or considerate with their expressions. I know for a fact that this works, because I'm not very sensitive to these things myself, and threads like this one help me become better at it. At the same time, a community can do exactly the opposite, and do more harm than help. You decide by your participation. It's a great, if somewhat dangerous, test of a community's integrity and tact.
Warp wrote:
Edit: I think I understand now: It's my avatar, isn't it? It makes me look angry.
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The only people who should be interested in someone's sex are people interested in having sex with that person. I am not interested in sex with this person and this community isn't meant for that anyway, so this is all of no consequence to me. The same should go for everyone else uninterested in sex with this person. Those who are interested should keep it between themselves and that person or in some other community with that topic, like xhamster or pornhub or whatever. This is a video game community, so it has nothing to do with that.
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It's simpler to an unrelated outsider, but imagine if this is something that your best friend, or a close relative, have to go through. Wouldn't it shock you even a little if your mother decided a male body would fit her better? For you, the notion of their entire person becomes challenged and you have to scrap and rework a very important piece of your personal reality. For them, there is the fear of showing the changes to you and your potential disapproval. A lot of things can go wrong here because for you the change is mostly destructive—you have to come to grips with a significant part of your worldview being instantly invalidated; for them, it is mostly constructive because it's ultimately worth the sacrifice of silent convenience of "don't ask, don't tell". It's not the sex we're celebrating; it's the courage.
Warp wrote:
Edit: I think I understand now: It's my avatar, isn't it? It makes me look angry.
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Let's stop harping on Warp for a minute to reflect on what moozooh said right there: "It's not the sex we're celebrating; it's the courage." There's still a stigma around gender issues, particularly trans-issues, and it takes a lot of courage to stand up in the face of all of that and say, "No, seriously, the physical of my body and the makeup of my mind disagree, and we can change the body medically now." Remaining silent is nice, it sends the message, "Oh, trans-issues are less of a thing and people are more accepting of one another as humans and less as binary choices that have to be filled out." However, speaking up in support is a much stronger message - it's supportive. It suggests to the people that are too afraid to step forward that they /can/ do so, and will be met favourably. A thread like this is a show of support, and it absolutely belongs on this site, in this forum.
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Lex wrote:
The only people who should be interested in someone's sex are people interested in having sex with that person. I am not interested in sex with this person and this community isn't meant for that anyway, so this is all of no consequence to me. The same should go for everyone else uninterested in sex with this person. Those who are interested should keep it between themselves and that person or in some other community with that topic, like xhamster or pornhub or whatever. This is a video game community, so it has nothing to do with that.
It isn't a sex thing. At least, it doesn't have to be. It's really hard to describe a priori, but it's more like a "No, that isn't who I am! I'm this other person who I haven't really shown you yet". Unlike LGB stuff, it matters in your day-to-day life with how you're treated and how you're perceived. Being transgender does not mean having genital reassignment surgery; it's just who you are. I like what Moozooh said - I think it sums it up quite well - "the world wants old 'me', even though the current 'me' is the real one". This is one reason why this is important: supporting and acknowledging, rather than disparaging her announcement. Less important in this specific place is encouragement. However, transitioning is a very difficult and long process, with societal and medical structures that constantly make you question yourself, with strong feelings and implications of being an imposter. And that's why I want to post such encouragement on here as well as on twitter, on the offchance that she may see it when she needs it. Similar things really helped me too.
Invariel wrote:
There's still a stigma around gender issues, particularly trans-issues, and it takes a lot of courage to stand up in the face of all of that and say, "No, seriously, the physical of my body and the makeup of my mind disagree, and we can change the body medically now."
While I mostly agree with what you're saying, there is one strong misconception I want to point out, and in fact have pointed out above. GRS is not a requisite of being transgender, nor for many people the goal of coming out, and in fact unless you're a Jenner-or-similar, basically impossible to get near-immediately. I probably have about 2 years of therapy and other treatments before making the waiting list for GRS if I choose to go down that route. The mental and social aspects are generally far more significant than the genitalia.
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Invariel wrote:
Let's stop harping on Warp for a minute to reflect on what moozooh said right there: "It's not the sex we're celebrating; it's the courage." There's still a stigma around gender issues, particularly trans-issues, and it takes a lot of courage to stand up in the face of all of that and say, "No, seriously, the physical of my body and the makeup of my mind disagree, and we can change the body medically now." Remaining silent is nice, it sends the message, "Oh, trans-issues are less of a thing and people are more accepting of one another as humans and less as binary choices that have to be filled out." However, speaking up in support is a much stronger message - it's supportive. It suggests to the people that are too afraid to step forward that they /can/ do so, and will be met favourably. A thread like this is a show of support, and it absolutely belongs on this site, in this forum.
Well said!
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I too will signal my agreement with moozooh that this shouldn't be and predominantly isn't about Narcissa's sex or gender but about her courage. Having said that, while I can't speak directly for Narcissa, I'd also like to append that she likely isn't transitioning for the recognition or to be called courageous-- it's something deep inside of her. I think an entirely appropriate response to her transitioning is to say, "Oh. Neat," and move on. To that extent only, I think Warp makes a perfectly valid point. One of the most stubborn psychological obstacles that people face when they face any dramatic change in their lives-- coming out as gay or transgendered, losing a loved one, becoming disabled, etc.-- is the ever-present feeling that people are walking on eggshells around you. You try to pick up your life and move forward and people just aren't telling the same kinds of jokes they did before or they're overly concerned with how you're doing or they may even turn to you and ask, "Was it okay that I said that?" Sometimes you can't even put your finger on it, but the mood just seems "off". To make matters worse, you may have an occasional outburst of emotion and suddenly everyone is hyper-aware of your situation, even though you might feel better after a day, an hour, or even a few minutes' time. Again, not being Narcissa, I can't really say what she wants. If I were in her position, however, I wouldn't seek to be lavished with praise and attention, I'd just want people to recognize me as the person I am.
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Invariel wrote:
Remaining silent is nice, it sends the message, "Oh, trans-issues are less of a thing and people are more accepting of one another as humans and less as binary choices that have to be filled out."
Interestingly, there's a talk/debate/discussion combo thing on at my university soon as part of trans* awareness month: The Pros and Cons of Visibility. Would you or anyone else be interested in notes on that?
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I would, yes.
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good luck for the changes, let's hope the e-drama don't hit him / her too hard....