Listed below are IRC quotes from #tasvideos and other speedrun- and game-related channels I use(d) to visit, and the related forum boards. I find these quotes memorable. They sometimes even induce nostalgia. Ooh, etc.
Note: I formatted the quotes mIRC-style for forum posts as well to save space.
Table of contents
IRC quotes
<Shinryuu> Bisqwit : your information about something is always great
<Shinryuu> :)
<moozooh> :D
<Bisqwit> Thanks :P
<Shinryuu> no proplem :P
<pirate_sephiroth> hmm
<pirate_sephiroth> let's see
<pirate_sephiroth> what can you say about this, Bisqwit
<pirate_sephiroth> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Human_Feces.jpg
<pirate_sephiroth> heh
<pirate_sephiroth> how great can you be...
<moozooh> hahahaha
<Bisqwit> pirate: Judging from the filename, I don't think the issue needs my opinion in particular.
<Thatguy> in soviet russia
<Thatguy> owned got that guy
<Yoshi348> I love how both ways thatguy is still recieving punishment
<NesVideoAgent> Post edited by antd (N64gam: duplicate game (please delete me))): Forum/Posts/107778
<NesVideoAgent> Post edited by antd (N64gam: duplicate game (delete me))): Forum/Posts/107778
<adelikat> lol
<OgreSlayeR> yeah who needs politeness
<|null|> you know exactly where the rules are
<|null|> you have quoted them to me before
<Wally33> yeah and I love this place so much I have them memorized by heart, I remember everyday 24/7. I recite it like a poem.
<Wally33> maybe I'll sing it too.
<Wally33> I'll make a song.
<Shinryuu> my word is the lair
<Shinryuu> lair :o
A bad day for spelling
<Upthorn> also, by your logic, noone should ever use the word "ingelligence"
<Upthorn> err
<Upthorn> Intelligence
<adelikat> indeed, no one should ever use the word ingelligence
[...]
<Upthorn> Phil: by your logic, noone should ever use the word "intelligence", because we don't know what it means
<Upthorn> also damn, I selfpwnt. D:
<PhilCote> Upthorn, We should indeed indeed use the wrods intelligence. And stop those QI test. Because it doesn't reflect reality.
<PhilCote> -indeed + stop
<AKA> upthorn: was that a direct misqoute?
<Upthorn> AKA: no
<Xkeeper> *using the word, *IQ tests, because
<Xkeeper> ;)
Out of context
<Bisqwit> Yeah, it apparently registered a crushing death
<Bisqwit> The girl's head was so deep in the brick
To draw a relevant analogy
<moozooh> i like how Fabian makes a point and no-one is saying anything relevant to it.
<Vatchern> what was his point?
<moozooh> Vatchern: the point was that oftenly having lots of people disagreeing with one's opinion and hardly anyone agreeing with it is indicative that there's some obvious flaws in that opinion.
<Vatchern> moozooh: I wonder how many people Backed up the idea of the world being a sphere
<moozooh> ...
<Brushy> Vatchern: That's... not the same thing
<adelikat> wow
<adelikat> I get up and see cardboard is tasing
<adelikat> then I leave for work and cardboard is tasing
<adelikat> I get home, and cardboard is tasing
<Cardboard> I need to get the porn back >_>
<Kazuma> when im making out with a girl, i always like to whisper in her ear "will you touch my vagina?"
<Kazuma> and shes like "WHAT?"
<Kazuma> and i go "thats what you're supposed to say"
That explains everything
<DMTM> dtm most of the videos isn't tas videos. ;)
<dtm> DMTM: oic. why are you using a buggy SMB3?
<DMTM> dtm on that movie i use my own game genie code. hehe ;)
<dtm> why?
<DMTM> dtm, joust for fun ^^
<DMTM> dtm i'm from gothenburg, Sweden
Holy naivety
<Shinryuu> erokky : why you're not named "erotical-Pineapple-DickCocksmell-total ANALOCALYPSE"
<Vatchern> Shin: so what are you doing later? want to get some kebab?
<Shinryuu> mhh im trying to masturbate but i can't luckmanipulate that sausage so well.. and there is no possibility to zip trought my balls
<Bisqwit> Shinryuu: Why not, clean up your language a bit.
<Shinryuu> Bisqwit : yeah i should
Surrounded by penises
* AngerFist Justin Timberlake - Sexy Back
<AngerFist> Thats right, Im him.
<AngerFist> *the one with the sexy back* *swings to the rythm* *looks for a girl in here to dance with but sees only penises*
Being helpful
<Upthorn> meepers, a suggestion to help avoid being taken out of context
<Upthorn> before you hit enter on a line of text, consider what it would sound like if the context were sexual.
<Upthorn> "yeah... slapping would be good" sounds kinky in a sexual context.
<Upthorn> "it would be cool if slapping could help him move faster" sounds out of place in a sexual context
<Upthorn> so that's the one you would want to use.
Being helpful 2
<AKA> Urgh, I've been trying that MS early in Z:TP for about 2 hours now, I'm gonna get this eventually.
<kwinse> MS?
<DMTM> kwinse MS=Microsoft
<Truncaway> multiple sclerosis
<Taco> There was one time I ran into my kitchen and I fell, but the odd thing was, after I hit the ground I started spinning around for about a minute and a half
<God> In the year 2217, Bagpipeface (the name is cool because no one has ever used it before) Belmont has to take his rgeat great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfathers whip from the planet earth when phobos and deminos align to great ultrahypermechadrakura
<God> because, yknow, well have totally terraformed mars by then, there will be a new transylvanian castle built there and all
<God> in Castlevania... Medley of Gothitude
Out of context 2
<Comicalflop> picture this
<Comicalflop> my erupting burning finger enters the moist cave
<Comicalflop> before typing
<nickgyps> anyone know why my game is screwed when i walk through the same door everytime with missle and ball on every emulator?
Out of context 3
<Atma> ah
<Atma> i use ass myself.
Intelligent discussion
<dtm> what in the *crap* was that comic supposed to mean?
<curtmack> oh umm hmm
<dtm> and what language was it written in
<dtm> for starters
<curtmack> whoa umm
<dtm> k
* DeHackEd reads the backlog, and proceeds to slap Comicalflop upside the head.
<Comicalflop> what? slap me upside for what?
<DeHackEd> Comicalflop: allow me to quote you
<DeHackEd> <Comicalflop> here's the old one: http://dehacked.2y.net/MK64.7z
<DeHackEd> <Comicalflop> and here's the new one: http://dehacked.2y.net/MK64.7z
* DeHackEd resumes slapping
<Comicalflop> De: Wilf pleaded with puss in boot eyes
<Wilf> lol
<DeHackEd> what the hell did you just say?
<Comicalflop> oh wait......
<Comicalflop> it;s the same link
<Comicalflop> aw god
Welcome to TASVideos, the community of unique and inventive people
<Bisqwit> Now, to contemplate on the various statistics that can be created...
<Bisqwit> ...And stop that SMB1 theme music that has been playing for last two hours
<moozooh> lol
<Xkeeper> lol
<AngerFist> lol
<jimsfriend> lol
<SOULRIVERS> lol
<Tompala> lol
<Comicalflop> lol
Not worth considering
<- Cardboard has disconnected
<- Baxter has disconnected
<Arne_the_great> Oh no! I'm left alone with... Upthorn?
<Arne_the_great> meh
No comments
<AKA> the thing is there is very little idle time in OoT, if you disregard the cutscenes.
* TNSe changes nick to HappyFist
<HappyFist> I'm your opposite.
<AngerFist> I'll beat you up
<HappyFist> I'll turn you the other cheek
Good old Phil
<Bisqwit> Cats don't really smile...
<PhilCote> Indeed since they are hypcroite and underhand.
Pushing the idiocy to the limit
<DMTM> andrewg- my personal best time no tas recording of sonic 2 with sonic and tails on Emerald Hill Act 1 is 17sec.
<andrewg-> isn't the TAS 18 seconds?
<DMTM> andrewg- the tas is on 17 sec
<DMTM> and i make it on 17sec without tas
<andrewg-> cheats?
<DMTM> andrewg- it was that time i didn't know of the modified version of gens
<DMTM> andrewg- no cheats
<DMTM> my friend was sawing it!
<DMTM> andrewg- and i was pushing my self to the limit... hehe ;)
<adelikat> a fast conceptual run, that breaks the game, and a 100% run that shows off all the cool stuff
<moozooh|elswhr> i can also show my nipples. :D
<adelikat> I would be quite satisfied
<moozooh|elswhr> why thank you.
<adelikat> LOL
<adelikat> dammit
<DMTM> mmbossman problem with youtube... :/
<moozooh|wrk> it can't cope with the level of awesomeness you are trying to feed it?
<DMTM> i ment
<mmbossman> post a .gmv then in the thread
<DMTM> mmbossman it's something wrong with my gens
<DMTM> it's way i make avis
[…]
<DMTM> mmbossman can i post a avi? on the site?
<mmbossman> you can upload a .gmv
<DMTM> it's about 14mn
<DMTM> and i useda save state to record it
<Brushy> Youtube limit is 10 minutes
<mmbossman> if you're making an AVI, you must have a .gmv to play it back
<DMTM> hitting the guitar course
<mmbossman> so skip making the AVI
<DMTM> my avi is about 42sec
Sports explained
<DarkKobold> It's sports... It is kinda childish to begin with
<DarkKobold> Grown men are using sticks to push an small black object into one spot on the floor. Other grown men are trying to stop them with their sticks.
<Upthorn> Baseball, however, is a perfect representation of the American spirit
<Upthorn> See, the object is to hit the other guy's balls as hard as you can with your stick, and then run home before his friends get you.
<theenglishman> anyway GuidMorrow
<theenglishman> are you familiar with MGS1?
<GuidMorrow> no
<theenglishman> or at least the series?
<glmathgrant> I'm familiar with MSG.
<glmathgrant> One time, a teen girl ordered 3 spring rolls from a restaurant called "3 spring rolls".
<glmathgrant> And she got MSG'd.
<glmathgrant> "Ow, my stomach lining!" she yelled.
"Yes, we're all different! — I'm not!"
<NesVideoAgent> Post DELETED by Wockes (WorkB: #2182: wwmarx's SMS Lucky Dime Caper, The - Starring Donald Duck in 16:38.13): Forum/Posts/193787
<Wockes> I like how its DELETED and not deleted
<Upth> I like how it provides a link to a missing post page
<erokky> I don't.
On survival in DoDonPachi DaiOuJou
<Megalixir> bullets be all up in my face like what and i'm like "you's a busta" and they're like "eat it" and i'm like k let's ride oh no what HYPER and they're like
<Megalixir> "...dang."
<Metal-> Hahahaha
<Metal-> I love it when you talk black
<Megalixir> bitch i ain't asking you for no lip
<Megalixir> get back under my desk
"You detected it no goin' and you tell me do things, I done runnin'"
<MrSparkle> lag you were talking about the 'perifieral vision shumps' and not likeing dryer link shumps where you die to anything, no sheilds ect
AngerFist's reign of terror
-> Baxter has joined tasvideos
* AngerFist slaps Baxter around a bit with a large trout
<Baxter> what did I do?
<AngerFist> you entered #tasvideos
Living up to one's name
<kareshi> all right, I got a good round 1
<kareshi> now I'm waiting for this text stuff to finish then on to round 2 and victory!
<kareshi> AH FUCKER
<kareshi> GOD DAMMIT ZOMBIE
<kareshi> I don't know how much more failure I can take
<kareshi> I've recorded 60 hours of fail
<TheHarshMan> Brutal.
<TheHarshMan> Have you considered doing drugs?
<szycag> you lonely fighter. you pervent big dasaster. go for fighting and never be destroy. take time in life for great warrior skill.
Applying headache to Toothache
<theenglishman> for any Canadians out here, I have found another ultimate real-life Crack Pairing
<theenglishman> Don Cherry/Ron McLean
<theenglishman> http://wwold.blogspot.com/2009/08/slash-fic-summer-cherry-popping.html
<theenglishman> it actually exists
<Toothache> disturbing
<theenglishman> Toothache: you don't even know these people
<theenglishman> you're British :P
<Toothache> slash fics are generally disturbing
<Toothache> besides, I'd rather get some critique of my B.O.B. progress :P
<theenglishman> Toothache: this is Ron McLean and Don Cherry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RW61FIHgVLk
<theenglishman> Cherry is the older guy with the crazy suit
<Toothache> not clicking
<theenglishman> it's completely SFW
<Toothache> that isnt the issue
<Toothache> the issue is I dont care enough
<erokky> Buttache
<Toothache> ecokky
<Toothache> that's right you are an electronic penis
<Toothache> sup
<erokky> yeah I'm the cause of your aching
It's confusion time!
<DarkKobold> wait, is Quibus a Dolphin dev?
<AngerFist> good night qubert
<AngerFist> hope he doesnt mind me calling him qubert
<Quibus> DarkKobold: no, he is definitely not
<AngerFist> is he still here?
<Quibus> AngerFist: I do
<AngerFist> yes he is
<AngerFist> kobold, he isnt
<curses> are black people any good at shmups?
<KennyMan> Nah, we've seen how bad they are at dodging bullets
Never change
<Shinryuu> I need to fap more often
<Shinryuu> this is getting out of hand
TASVideos.org forum quotes
From the "Free the political prisoners of Finland!" thread:
<Boco> Prisons can be where people learn useful trades, then get government-sponsored jobs. You know, making those people useful to society instead of harmful to it. But that's just my opinion.
<Bag of Magic Food> So it's not where you go to be made to feel like a bad person?
<pirate_sephiroth> That's church, not prison.
From the "#1153: Fabian's SNES Super Mario World in 1:21:30" thread:
<AKA> Well, there is no reason whatsoever to vote no, nor is meh a good enough option. I really do think a best out of ten system would be better, as I would of given it an 8 and in terms of percent I would have given it 92% (yes, confusing I know I'll explain why shortly). That might sound confusing but an eight is to signify that its not a high 9. Since I can't rate I'll simply have to vote yes.
From the "Discussion about DMG abbreviation" thread:
<Phil> Stop that please. That topic is Dirty and plentyful of Moronic attitude and I will stop reading it before being Gayed.
From the "Metroid Prime Sucks Balls" thread:
<theenglishman> Very funny. Are you going to follow this up with "Ocarina of Time Sucks Ass" and "Chrono Trigger Blows Bad"? Why not sarcastically attack each and every game the gaming world considers a classic?
<JXQ> No way, these titles aren't nearly clever enough. You didn't even put "Blows" on the Ocarina of Time title! An Ocarina is a musical instrument that you blow! Missed opportunties, my good man.
From the "Ocarina of Time" thread:
<AKA> When this is submitted would this obselete the current run becuase by definition the current run is supposed to be the fastest possible route through the game. Obseleting that would give a greater justification for a all medalion run.
<mwl>I think Guano should submit this run as a separate category because the tricks are version-specific. It's ultimately up to the staff to decide, though.
From the "#1451: adelikat's NES Contra J in 08:57.98" thread:
<KRocketneo> Vote: Yes
Nice you finish the Contra (J) under 9 Minutes, because I watched your Contra (J) speed run that will skip the Scoreboard and Rest screen saving more time.
I saw Player 2 died from Stage 3 because I watch you when Player 2 is trying to overlap Player 1 after when Player 2 has died, trying to perform the Jumping Glitch in Stage 3.
Sound Player 2 Died in Stage 3:
Gryzor Player2 Died Sound
Snapshot Player 2 Died in Stage 3:
[snapshot]
Great job, adelikat!
This will obsolete the Genisto's 1P run instead of publication.
Area6 Quote of the Day in Starfox64:
Caiman: "The last line has been breached!"
Venomian Army Commander: "These guys are crazy!"
From the "#1511: hero of the day's SNES Vegas Stakes in 03:30.93" thread:
<AKA> I only wish I could read the text good run BTW, on a completely unrelated, when encoders are putting information in the middle of a run eg minus levels and Megaman. Could they allow the text to remain there for a while longer becuase it appears and dissapears way too suddenly for my liking.
From the "#1599: FODA's Genesis Altered Beast in 05:53.3" thread:
<josh l.> I was too busy reading poetry whilst eating scones and missed out on this whole argument.
I must agree with Sir Bisquit. This puerile humour is such rubbish and balderdash. I scoff at it. Pah! This sort of thing really steams my monocle. I say. Quite.
From the "SMS rerecording development" thread:
<Twisted Eye> The movie 'Alex Kidd in Miracle World (UE) [!] hey man don't be givin' me no guff 'bout no long filenames mang i gone cut you good you done do dat agin mang.mmv' worked fine when using the savestate 'Alex Kidd in Miracle World (UE) [!] jesus christmas this is a long filename how can you handle such a long filename this is amazing.dgz.'
Psycho Fox worked with the movie 'Psycho Fox (UE) [!] is a funny little orange creature with blue shirt and pink shorts hey at least he's wearing shorts not like SOME people ';';';;';';';;.mmv' and the savestate 'Psycho Fox (UE) [!]fdsfjsdflhldjskhfkdjlsahfkjdshfkjsdhfjklsdhfjksdhfkjlshjfksdhjkflhsdjkl fhjdskhfkjsdhfkjlsdahfkjlds.dgz'
From the "#1466: dezbeast's GB Mega Man II in 17:41.28" thread:
<chyren> Not only does it redefine "flawlessness" with unparalled action-packed connotations, it brings back those fragments of innocence like nothing else. That awe of life, those magical moments that grab you with such intensity, those experiences beyond words all materialize in full frutition with this run! It's like being given another chance to run free the playground of sensation when all was sensational.
From the "How to ascend to spread to record elephant???" thread:
<max12187566> I have 1 to record elephant most soon,I want to spread to TAS up up.
From the "#923: hero of the day's SNES Chrono Trigger in 4:21:12" thread:
<aznxknight> I'm confused. On this asite it says that the player aims for the fastest time. But watching it on google, when reading the description, it says the player aims for the fastest time.
Which one is it?
From the "#1972: Lorenzo_The_Comic's GBA POKEMON THE GAME in 03:01.4" thread:
<Lorenzo_The_Comic> I'm still waiting fo someone to vote meh on my Speed Run. I don't want to be the only one to do it.
[…]
<Twelvepack> voted no because pokemon is teh suck
<Lorenzo_The_Comic> f*ckman I'm lightnig up
From the "#1355: AKA's N64 Super Mario 64 in 15:40" thread:
<AKA> I wonder if FODA will have a go when he's done with the 120 star, although anyone who wants to have a go at it is more than welcome, although I'd fully expect a near perfect run, that goes as far as avoiding un-needed coins, although don't forget I also saved time in Bowser#2 by not having to recover so much health afterwards.
From the "#2002: kchrules's Genesis The Terminator in 05:57.82" thread:
<hopper> In Level 2, Kyle has just stolen some clothes from the department store and is being attacked by a whole bunch of police helicopters. That's not in the movie, but whatever. So, he's killing gang members, who presumably have it coming for living a life of crime, but why is he shooting police officers? Then he rescues Sarah from Arnie in the bar.
In Level 3, he's breaking out of a huge police station, which for some reason has a lot of criminals running around in it, and again shooting police officers. I guess it's worth taking a few innocent lives to save the savior of humanity, but couldn't he try to avoid it? How many games are there where you're supposed to kill cops? Okay, so once again he rescues Sarah before Arnie can get to her. Why is this game all about Kyle?
From the "#2873: SilentSlayers & sonicpacker & Moltov & Kyman & Johannes's N64 Super Mario 64 in 05:05.08" thread:
<Nicos> if 0 stars = 5 peoples, the 120 stars = 600 peoples ?
<Baxter> Because, as we all know (5/0) * 120 = 600?
[…]
<MrGrunz> this is by the bast gaming related I've ever watched.
Metroid2002.com forum quotes
<shadow-metroid> well mabye if samus explored the deformed terrain of zebes, some plot will appear....
<Houstin> ...and then because of Samus close enoucter with ehr first x and the mtroid cell thingey she whould leavea slime containing metroid DNA and a Advanced X whould obsorb that DNA begining a new race of metroids...
<Cloud07> the X got all of her memories and recreate zebes and a more powerful rigley and motherbrain and the other bosses.
<Tonski> But you know didn't Red Scarlet say that the shinespark before Draygon is impossible on the console? I say gunship. I've done it on my SNES. I'm impressed how can a WR-speedrunner claim something like that.
EDIT: Gunship? I meant to say gunship. This forum is making my posts go wrong. :(
<metrokraid> my most exciting moment was when i pushed my brother and freinds of my brother off a cliff into a valcano with lava sharks and godzilla. lol
<Bolognab> Thanks, I did it... but how do I unattach the hack?
<moozooh> Get a new ROM. And next time make a backup.
<Bolognab> ****!!!!
<Fano7> I would be to. Now, it would probably be harder in a early charge run because of when do I fire missiles vs supers vs pb combo vs charged shot, and not just missiles vs supers. all you probably is shoot him and then minulate him to drop refils.
Shmups.com forum quotes
From the "Death Smiles coming to a North America near you! (Cave 2007)" thread:
<AraraSPAMWitch> All Americans are PAEDOPHILES and cannot help but have sexual stirrings when looking at a child or representation of one. Additionally, all Americans are FILTHY CHRISTIAN SCUM who subscribe to Jesus' philosophy that, in the wake of temptation, they must excise the temptation from their life. Upon seeing Casper, the average American is unable to control the flow of blood to his loins YET FEELS an intense moralistic revulsion at these feelings of warmth. However, since all Americans are FUCKING PUSSIES and afraid to cut out their eyes (the real source of the temptation), they seek to destroy all artistic representations of children. So what the American soul exhibits is a classic combination of degeneracy, moralism, and cowardice.
From the "Arcade personalities" thread:
<Drum> I guess I have nothing to add to this thread than off topic stuff. Well, when I was younger I used to be one of those creepy people who plays very little and just watches other people play.
<rancor> On its own, theres nothing really wrong with that.. However, when you combine the above with talking/mumbling to yourself, extreme body odor, wild game-triggered gestures, or your index-finger two knuckles deep in your nose, that is when you become an arcade personality.
From the "Q and A" thread:
<emphatic> What is the most embarrassing piece of "dirty talk" you've ever heard or said?
<Ixmucane2> I once asked an old lady for street directions and she, apparently misunderstanding, told me to go fart into my mother's cunt. I ran away.