Errr you guys will hate me for this but...
She Was So Blonde
*She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*She thought a quarterback was a refund.
*She tripped over the cordless phone.
*She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*She told someone to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".
*She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign here", she wrote
Sagittarius.
*If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
*When she heard that 90% of all crimes happen around the home, she moved.
*She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could use it at night.
*She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".
A blonde is driving down the road she sees a cop flashing his lights behind her.
She pulls over. The cop comes up to her window and the blonde realizes that the cop is a blonde too. The cop says I need your driver's license and the blonde says, "What does it look like?" the cop replies, "It's square and has your picture on it." so the blonde searches through her purse and finds a mirror looks at it then gives it to the cop. The cop says, "Oh, ok I'm sorry I didn't know you were a cop too."
What A Wonderful Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only
$1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I
saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$68,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....The house we wanted last year is back on
the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"
There is a mirror that if you tell it a lie you are sucked into the mirror but if you tell the truth you are given money.
A brunette walks up to the mirror and
says, "I think I am the tallest person in the world," and shazam she is sucked Into the mirror. A few minutes later a ginger haired person walks up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the fattest person in the world," and shazam she is sucked into the mirror. The next day a blonde walks up to the mirror. She stares deep into it and says, "I think," and shazam...
A Texas State trooper pulled over a Oklahoma pickup on I-35.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout' whut?"
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."
"OH DEAR GOD NO," Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks up and
asks, "How many is a Brazillion??!"
From
http://www.lol.com
I think they're kinda funny...
